What does Self-Sabotage mean for you?

Are you aware of any Self-Sabotaging behaviour within yourself?

In January of this year (2019), I started a deep and transformational coaching series with my AMAZING business coach, Amy McKenzie from Designing Her Life. I am truly so grateful for the opportunity to grow both personally and professionally in such an uplifting and secure space. Throughout this coaching series, I really allowed myself to surrender to every area of my life.

You see, even though I was already on the path of my personal growth journey, I still felt like something wasn’t right. It wasn’t until I commenced the deep soul work that I realised just how much Self-Sabotage has affected me in both life and business. Don’t get me wrong I had heard all about Self-Sabotage, however, I never connected myself to it. I truly did not see how I was the Queen of Self-Sabotage.   

In my very first session, Amy posed the question:

What does Self-Sabotage mean and feel like for you, Tara?

If I may, I would love to take this opportunity to share with you what my response to this question was.

Self-Sabotage to me is my way of protecting myself against the unknown. It is like a ‘skill’ I have developed over time to keep me safe and guarded from the unknown, from any fears I may be experiencing. I feel this ‘skill’ is something I have clinged to from a very young age in order to protect myself. Through the deep, yearning desire to build my own business this is the very first time that self-sabotage has really become known to myself.

Self-Sabotage when I am experiencing it feels constricting, suffocating, extremely debilitating, it looks like tiredness, to the point of exhaustion, living in an extremely un-driven and unmotivated state of being.

Self-Sabotage awakens a state of low mood and anxious feelings within me that makes me feel as though my mind is going at 1,000 miles per hour with creation, desire and big goals, however, nothing ever gets done because I am so tired, and at times, so stressed due to wanting to action but feeling debilitated and deflated. This makes me feel insecure, detached from life and my business, as well as confused as to whether I am able to achieve any of my goals.

Early signs, I believe, are fatigue, negativity towards myself and at times others, feeling blocked, allowing myself to steal my own magic and letting my fear rise up and take over, agitation towards myself and others, even my family, due to not living my best life.

Throughout my soul work on Self-Sabotage and bringing awareness of it to the forefront, I have been able to pin point when Self-Sabotage is trying to take control. My own personal journey with Self-Sabotage has led me to supporting and educating other women on kicking self-sabotage to the curb and igniting their confidence.

What has this reflection on Self-Sabotage sparked within you?

I’d love to hear about your journey with Self-Sabotage if you feel called to share in the comments below or please send me an email. Let’s bring Self-Sabotage out into the light and allow our confidence to sparkle brightly.

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